What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
In this post I will explore an approach that has been transformative for many people, including me personally and many of my clients: Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Understanding IFS
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a compassion-based therapy that understands our personality as made up of different parts. Internal Family Systems has a growing evidence base and is gaining ground in many countries including the US, Canada, the UK, Australia and Germany. It is a body-centred therapeutic model, researched by Dr Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It recognises the interconnected nature of body, mind, brain, and spirit. At its core, IFS posits that our mind is not a singular entity but rather a complex system of parts, each with its own perspectives, feelings, and motivations. Think of it as having an internal family – hence the name.
Richard Schwartz drew on the following teachings, cultures, philosophies and traditions when developing IFS:
- Family Therapy: Drawing from systemic family therapy concepts.
- Mindfulness Practices: Integrating mindfulness and meditative practices.
- Shamanic Traditions: Utilising aspects of shamanic healing practices.
- Buddhist Philosophy: Emphasising principles from Buddhist teachings.
- First Nation American culture and spirituality: Integrating some concepts, particularly the idea of inner parts and healing practices.
- Psychodynamic Theory: Incorporating elements of psychodynamic approaches.
These influences helped shape the holistic and integrative nature of IFS, making it a versatile and deeply compassionate therapeutic approach.
This clinical trial showed that an IFS-based intervention had positive effects on patients with Rheumatoid Arthritis, reducing pain and depressive symptoms whilst also improving physical function and levels of self-compassion.
I offer IFS therapy and clinical supervision online to clients across the UK. Feel free to get in touch to book a free intro call.
The Concept of Parts
We use the language of ‘parts’ all the time without realising it. When did you last say “A part of me knows I need to sleep but another part of me just can’t stop scrolling” or “On one side I’m SO ANGRY with him; but also I just feel really sad” or something along similar lines?
IFS is not about suppressing or sidelining our parts – even those parts that carry anger or unpleasant thoughts and emotions. The point of IFS is not to get rid of parts or force them to change; instead we are seeking to understand and to support parts into having more choices.
“The point of therapy isn’t to get rid of anything, but to help it transform.” Dr Richard Schwartz
IFS draws on psychological and philosophical theories of ‘multiplicity of mind’. In the language of IFS, we all have multiple ‘parts’ within us. This is entirely natural: neither a pathology, nor an illness, nor a sign that there’s something wrong.
These parts are like little characters or sub-personalities that play different roles in our lives. Some common parts include:
- Exiles: Often carrying painful memories or emotions, these parts are typically hidden away to protect us from feeling hurt.
- Managers: These parts try to keep us safe from overwhelming feelings by maintaining control over our environment and actions. Manager tactics include people-pleasing, workaholism, and (over)intellectualising.
- Firefighters: When exiles’ pain surfaces, firefighters jump in to douse the flames with distraction or numbing behaviours. These may include rage, social media scrolling, Netflix, or gambling.
Imagine you’re at a family dinner table. Managers are like the parents trying to keep order; firefighters are like older siblings who step in when things get heated; and exiles are like children who’ve been sent to their rooms because they’re upset.
The Self
Central to IFS is the concept of the Self. We all have it. Self is not a part: it could be seen as our core essence, and it can lead and heal our internal system.
According to IFS, we are ‘in Self’ when we experience the ‘Eight Cs’:
- A sense of calm and clarity.
- Compassion towards ourselves and others.
- Curiosity about our inner experiences without judgement.
- Confidence in our ability to navigate challenges.
- Connection with our true essence and values.
- Creativity in problem-solving and expression.
- Courage to face difficulties and uncertainties.
This may happen when we are making or listening to music, in deep conversation, engrossed in a book, running, having great sex…
These moments can often feel like coming home to ourselves: a place where we feel whole, integrated, and at peace.
If this all sounds a bit off the wall, that’s okay! IFS can be a really revolutionary concept.
Burdens and Adaptations
Throughout our lives, our parts pick up what IFS term ‘burdens’. These are protective mechanisms or adaptations that our parts believe are necessary for our survival. They may be proactive (managers) or reactive (firefighters).
Here is an example:
D has a part which learned in the school playground that being really verbally mean kept the bullies away. This part did really well at keeping D safe when they were at school. When D was an adult and in a relationship, this part would become activated each time there was a disagreement with their partner. The verbal meanness was out of place in this adult relationship, and created ruptures which were harder and harder to repair.
D may hold shame and self-loathing in relation to this pattern: maybe a belief that they are just mean. But D can identify this as a part of them, not all of them. They can connect with this part and hear its story, then update it so it knows that D is an adult, no longer in the playground and no longer needing to protect against bullies. Once updated, the part can lay down its burden.
Once we understand its story we can see how, although it is causing damage in D’s present-day relationship, this ‘mean part’ has good intentions. It is, in fact, not a ‘mean part’ but a part that thinks it needs to be mean to be safe.
Most of the wiring of our nervous system comes online in our earliest years. Often this wiring doesn’t get updated and we live our lives with parts that, for example, don’t realise that we’re no longer seven years old, threatened daily and relatively powerless.
How Does IFS Work?
IFS therapists support clients in building internal connections between their Self and their parts. Hearing their parts’ stories, understanding their motivations and meeting them with compassion will ultimately heal these parts.
Here’s a rough roadmap:
- Identify Parts: First, we identify the different parts at play within you. (Our cast of internal characters can be large! But there can often be only a handful of them active in relation to any given situation. The others are waiting in the wings for their turn in the spotlight!)
- Get to Know Parts: We then build a relationship with these parts by listening to their stories without judgment.
- Find Our Way to the Exile: When we have built a trusting relationship with our protective parts – the managers and firefighters – they may allow us to connect with the Exile – the wounded part – and witness its story too.
- Heal Exiles: By accessing the Self’s compassionate presence, we can help exiled parts release their burdens. A burden carried by an Exile may be a belief that they are worthless, unloveable or unsafe.
- Integrate the System: Finally, we work towards creating integration and harmony amongst all your parts so they can function more cohesively.
This process allows for deep healing as it acknowledges all aspects of your inner world rather than dismissing or fighting against them.
People experience their parts in different ways: some people see their parts as images; others might hear their parts as different internal voices or ways of speaking. Some people feel or sense their parts as sensations in or around their body; and others experience them as a mix of all the above. There’s no right or wrong way to experience your parts.
This video, from neurodivergent therapists Celia Clarke and Bobbi-Jo Molokken, demonstrates the process of tuning into and communicating with parts.
But HOW?!
I notice your data-gathering parts and possibly also your sceptical, criticising and anxious parts. They are all welcome. If they are active now, they are working hard to keep you safe.
Similar to therapeutic techniques like EMDR or Somatic Experiencing, IFS works through a process called ‘memory reconsolidation’. In very simple terms, by updating our nervous system – for example by helping it to learn that a traumatic event is in the past and not still happening – our nervous system can learn more consistently to move out of fight-flight-flee-fawn mode and into a place of safety.
In neuroscientific terms, IFS draws on our brain’s ability to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections. Through compassionate self-exploration, we can transform our internal landscape and create a more balanced, cohesive sense of self.
“Imagination is a very powerful neuroplastic agent. So the work that we do in IFS – which is very much imaginary – absolutely has neurophysiological effects on neural networks on the brain and on the body. It’s a beautiful intersection between psychotherapy and neuroscience, and we have more evidence to show the ways they’re linked together.” Dr Frank Anderson
Approaches like CBT and other behavioural therapies tend to focus more on thoughts and thinking patterns. This could be called a top-down approach. Using your conscious thinking brain to try to change what’s happening subconsciously or unconsciously, works well for some people, sometimes. For many people it doesn’t work, and doesn’t effect a lasting change. This is because we are not built top-down: the vast majority of our impulses are initiated in our bodies rather than in our minds. This means that if you want to create lasting change you will need to build fid a way of understanding and interacting with your body’s responses. This is where somatic and mind-body approaches such as IFS really shine.
If you want to read more, I’ve included more links in the resources section at the end of this post.
Self-Healing, or Solo IFS
Part of the fabulousness of IFS is that we can do it with a therapist or practitioner, we can do IFS within a group, and we can do it on our own.
The tools you learn through working with an IFS therapist, or by doing IFS meditations or journalling, can stay with you for life. They can all form a part of a more connected, mindful, compassionate relationship with yourself.
You already have your own wise healer inside you. You also have a large cast of amazing parts. IFS is experiential, and if you can meet yourself with an open, compassionate, curious mind, you’re already doing it. If you’re not quite there yet, that’s okay.
Conclusion
You don’t need to understand all the ways and means of Internal Family Systems in order to work with it. That’s where I come in! And I certainly don’t expect you to accept everything I describe here as being fact. Your sceptical parts are very welcome: I’d love to hear their questions.
Together we can create a space where every part of you feels seen, welcomed, and valued. That’s where the healing happens.
If you want to read more…
- No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness (2021) is an inspiring and very readable book about IFS, written by Richard Schwarz.
- Lucille Aaron-Wayne provides many free resources on solo IFS
- San Francisco-based psychotherapist Greg Bodin provides another explanation of IFS, Self and parts on his website
- Holly Stoppit, based in the South West of England, is an IFS practitioner, dramatherapist, clinical supervisor, facilitator, educator, and creative consultant. Her blog covers her professional journey as well as her walk with grief and loss. Here is her introduction to IFS.
- Bristol-based IFS therapist Reza Ahmad writes about trauma and the protective system, healing and growth here.
- Dr Joy Lovesy, also Bristol-based, writes about healing here.
- Berlin-based IFS therapist Katie Knight writes on ”The Neuroscience behind Internal Family Systems”
- In this episode of the podcast series Therapist Uncensored, Dr Frank Anderson explores some of the links between IFS, neuroplasticity and attachment.
- The IFS Directory provides details for IFS therapists and practitioners around the world.
- The IFS Institute provides links to academic research papers
- The following two books, written for therapists, describe a lot more of the neuroscience behind IFS and other trauma therapies:
- Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Memory Reconsolidation and the Psychotherapy of Transformational Change, 2nd edition, by Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic, Laurel Hulley (Routledge, 2024)
- Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation by Janina Fisher (Routledge, 2017)
If you are a therapist you can read more about how IFS translates into clinical supervision here.
If you are curious about how IFS therapy might support you, you can read more about working with me or get in touch to book a free intro call.
If you’d like to stay connected with me, you can join my mailing list to receive occasional musings.