Your Journey, Your Choice: Tips for Finding the Right Therapist
This blog post is for anyone who is feeling stuck or overwhelmed as they look for a therapist to work with: where to start, and how to know who is the right choice?
Finding the right person to work with can make all the difference – and, because we are all individuals, there is no rule book! In this blog post, I share some of the factors worth considering when choosing a therapist who can provide that crucial sense of safety and understanding that we all need on our journeys towards healing and growth.
1. Understand Your Needs
Before starting your search for a therapist, it’s helpful to take some time to reflect on your specific challenges and goals. Consider whether you require support in any specific areas – for example, it may be that anxiety is becoming too dominant in your life, or you are grieving a loss, or wanting to recover from a trauma, or exploring your neurodivergence, or looking for meaning and purpose.
It may be that you feel more comfortable working with a therapist with a shared lived experience. For example you could look for a therapist from the neurodivergent community, or more specifically someone with an autism diagnosis. You may find it easier to build a relationship with someone whom you know is childless, or from the queer or GSRD community, or who has experienced/is experiencing perimenopause. Understanding your needs in advance will help you to find a therapist who is well-suited to supporting you, and with whom you more at ease from the start.
It can be harder to find therapists from marginalised communities, as the mainstream directories don’t tend to include these lived experiences as options in their search filters! Some of the directories at the end of this post list therapists from specific communities; you can also check out therapists’ websites or the specifics in their directory profiles. If this is important to you (and it is to me), don’t be afraid to ask therapists directly when you make contact.
2. Consider Whether You Want To Work In Person Or Online
Since the Covid-19 pandemic many therapists have adapted their practices to work online. Many clients have recognised the benefits of being able to access therapy over Zoom, from their own homes, with no travel time and fewer access needs to consider. On the other hand many clients prefer the opportunity to take time out of their day to visit a different location to meet their therapist. Evidence suggests that the quality of the therapy is the same; the decision whether to find a local therapist or work with someone online is down to your needs and your preferences.
Online directories are adapting – slowly – to allow clients to search for therapists by modality or specialism as easily as by location.
3. Consider Which Therapeutic Approach May Suit You Best… if you really want to
If you have had previous experience of therapy you may have an idea of which approaches work well for you – and which don’t. You may have read or heard about an approach which resonates with you, and which sends you looking for a therapist trained in that area.
Therapists may have trained in a specific ‘modality’, which has its own approach and techniques. Examples are person-centred counselling (developed by Carl Rogers in the 1940s), Transactional Analysis (developed by Eric Berne in the 1960s) and Internal Family Systems (developed by Richard Schwartz in the 1980s). Many therapists have studied multiple theories and will draw on multiple approaches. These therapists may call themselves ’integrative’, ‘pluralistic’ or ‘eclectic’. Some therapeutic approaches will align better with your needs and preferences, and it may be that a combination of approaches works well for you.
Most important to remember, though, is that a good therapeutic relationship will be far more influential in the impact of your therapy than any modality.
“The therapeutic relationship is a crucible for change; it is in the space between two individuals that transformation can occur.” Irvin Yalom, The Gift of Therapy
4. Seek Recommendations and Referrals
One effective way to find a therapist is by asking trusted friends, family members, or healthcare professionals for recommendations. They may have first-hand experience or know someone who has benefited from therapy. Additionally, online directories can provide valuable insights into therapists who work in your area or who specialise in the issues you want to work with.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to support groups or organisations related to your specific challenges; they often have resources available and can offer referrals. In addition to this, a conscientious therapist may provide details of other relevant therapists in their network, even if you decide not to work with them.
5. Check Out The Therapist
Due to the many routes by which counsellors and therapists come into being, ensuring that they possess the necessary professional competence isn’t always straightforward.
A good place to start is checking out their credentials. As a general rule, they should be a member of one of the professional bodies including (but not limited to) BACP and NCPS, and have professional liability insurance. You may want to confirm that they have completed a credible training course such as an MA, PGDip, or a CPCAB-accredited training to Level 4+ (I am writing in the UK; different rules apply in different countries).
It can also be helpful to look for therapists with experience in working with clients facing similar challenges to yours. Additionally, consider whether they have completed additional qualifications or specialist training in areas relevant to your needs. Therapists often invest many hours and lots of money in learning beyond their core training. Their additional learning can indicate their expertise, their conscientiousness and dedication to supporting you effectively.
In addition to checking out their training and qualifications it’s important to do a ‘vibe check’: therapy is about the relationship, after all! If you find them in a directory, how do their words make you feel? Do they use outdated, oppressive or culturally insensitive language, or words that jar in any way? If you find them on social media, do their posts land comfortably with you? How do you respond to their headshot, photos or branding?
Do make sure to check out their credentials – but if their words, tone of voice, style and imagery attracts you, that is a great start!
“The therapist’s role is to be a witness to the client’s pain and a companion on their journey.” Irvin Yalom, The Gift of Therapy
6. Ask For An Intro Call
Having a conversation with the therapist is hugely helpful in helping you to assess whether they are a good fit. Ask for an initial consultation with potential therapists so you can assess the rapport and comfort level you feel with them. Therapists may offer a free call of up to 30 minutes, or they offer a longer paid assessment session.
Take this opportunity to ask about their therapeutic approach and any other information that is important to you (for example: if they market themselves as working with neurodivergence are they themselves ND? If not, how do you feel about that?). Pay attention to the therapist’s ability to create a safe and non-judgmental space, as this will greatly impact your progress. Trusting your instincts during these consultations is vital; if something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to explore other options.
If you’d like to book a free intro call with me, I’d love to hear from you. Here is my enquiry form.
7. Consider Practical Factors
While the therapeutic fit is essential, practical considerations shouldn’t be overlooked. If you are meeting in person consider location and logistics. It is also helpful to confirm schedules early on: does the therapist’s availability suit your schedule?
Consider also your budget. Can you afford the therapist’s fees? If it’s not affordable to meet weekly could you meet fortnightly instead? (Not all therapists offer fortnightly sessions – it doesn’t always fit with their way of working – but more do now, post-pandemic and cost-of-living crisis.) It may be that the therapist offers reduced-fee slots for people on low incomes or key workers. If you have health insurance you may look for a therapist who works with your insurer.
Additionally, think about your accessibility needs and preferences. If you meet in person is their space accessible to you? Do they offer sensory adaptations such as low lighting or fidgets? If they have a pet is this a barrier for you – or a bonus? If fatigue or pain can mean that a full session or visual stimuli are too much, is the therapist flexible in moving to the phone or offering shorter sessions? (PS I offer all of these – including a cat who may, if invited, curl up on your lap!)
8. And Finally… Trust Your Instincts
When it comes to choosing a therapist, trust your instincts. Pay attention to how you feel during the initial interactions and on that intro call with potential therapists. Do you feel heard and understood? Do you sense a genuine connection?
Remember that finding the right therapist is a precious personal journey, and it’s okay to try out different therapists until you find the right fit for you.
Next Steps
Hopefully this post has offered some food for thought and a clearer understanding of the factors to consider when choosing a therapist.
In summary:
- Understand your needs
Reflect on your specific challenges and goals to identify the type of support you require. Consider whether a therapist with shared lived experiences might make you feel more at ease. - Consider whether you want to work in person or online
Do you prefer the convenience of online sessions or the experience of visiting a therapist in person? Both options have their benefits, so choose based on your comfort and needs. - Consider which therapeutic approach may suit you best – if you want to!
While the therapeutic relationship is the most important factor, previous therapy experiences – good or bad – may inform your search. - Ask for recommendations and referrals
Ask friends, family, or healthcare professionals for recommendations. Explore online directories and reach out to support groups or organisations related to your specific challenges for referrals. - Check out the therapist
Verify their credentials, training, and professional memberships. Look for therapists with relevant experience and additional qualifications that align with your needs. Pay attention to how their words, tone, and imagery resonate with you. - Ask for an intro call
Request a call so you can ask about their approach, check for rapport, and experience for yourself whether they create a safe, non-judgmental space. - Consider practical factors
Consider logistical aspects like location, schedule compatibility, fees, and accessibility needs. - Trust your instincts
Trust your gut feelings during these first interactions with the potential therapist. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to explore other options until you find the right fit for you.
If you’d like to book a free intro call with me, I’d love to hear from you. Remember, it’s okay to take your time—this is your journey!
Therapist Directories
- Psychology Today
- Counselling Directory
- BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy)
- NCPS (National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society)
- UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy)
- IFS Directory
- UKATA (UK Association for Transactional Analysis)
- Gateway Women’s Directory of Childless Therapists
- COSRT (College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists)
- Pink Therapy (LGBTQIA+ supportive therapists and counsellors)
- Relate (relationships)
If you’d like to find out more, you can get in touch to book a free no-obligation introductory call.
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